Project management

My rationale is crumbling. It's been holding steady(ish) for about a week, which I must say is something to acknowledge and celebrate, so I try to get a round of applause going, but nothing.
Regardless. It's all going according to plan.
"A week", I told myself. "A week of hopefulness and confident waiting."
That week was over yesterday, and begrudgingly I remember what I also told myself:
"After that, a week of sorrow. Of self-pitying acceptance that you are not lovable in that manner you wished and planned for. A week of tears, most probably, though not the entire week - that would be tiresome. Of allowing the pain that has been stomping its feet from impatience in the doorway to your insides, kept at bay by the agreed time schedule, to step inside and start stabbing at tender parts. Mutter a bitter 'welcome'. It's a visitor you know well, so it's only polite."
I breathe in, notice that it's not a shaky breath and it gives me foolish hope that maybe the first tears will not come until tomorrow. I try to remember what the plan holds for the week after this, and if I remember my words correctly they were:
"And then we go back to normal."
It's important to have plans.


Kommentera inlägget här:

Kom ihåg mig?

E-postadress: (publiceras ej)



RSS 2.0